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Stalking 101…

May 4, 2009

According to the Oxford dictionary a stalker is one who pursues or approaches stealthily. In my opinion stalking has received a bad rap. How else are we to ensure contact with our heroes. As knitters, we would never bring a negative connotation to this underappreciated term.

Case in point: Recently my tweets have been followed by the Yarn Harlot. I occasionally return a comment or two on her tweets. I regularly read and occasionally comment on her blogs. I didn’t think anything of it. Then one day I noticed she too followed my tweets. I felt somewhat excited and told my good friend, Melistress, about my good fortune. She, of course, SQUEEEE’d and began on her quest to be noticed by the Yarn Harlot.

How does one go about this? As Canadians and knitters, we are of course ever conscious about offended the objects of our desires. Overtly stalking is thus put into place. Melistress followed the Yarn Harlot’s tweets to no avail. She regularly posted comments to the infamous blog. Melistress regularly blogged about the Yarn Harlot and the ever present influence Stephanie has on her knitting and life. Again, to no avail.

Then, one day, Melistress SQUEE’d. She about burst through the roof, she did. The Yarn Harlot personally replied to a posting Melistress left on the Yarn Harlot’s blog:

“Speaking of needs, I noticed that no matter what I do, the Yarn Harlot won’t talk to me. I mean, I have done everything to be a good stalker. I have enrolled in her classes, bought all her books, read all her blog posts and comment on them frequently. I stalk her on twitter and reply to her tweets? What self-respecting stalkee won’t talk to her stalker? I mean, really? Daniel Quinn was easier to communicate with than her and I didn’t even HAVE to stalk him. He e-mailed me voluntarily. What does a girl have to do?

Waiting patiently for the restraining order….

Melissa

Posted by: melistress at May 3, 2009 9:14 PM”

As all followers know, the Yarn Harlot IS the Oprah of knitting. She is the guru. She is our leader in all knitterly pursuits. The Yarn Harlot is fearless. When one is lucky enough to receive some individual attention from her…well, that is SQUEE worthy. Meslistress SQUEE’d her day away once she received:

“Well.  That worked.”

was the reply from the Oprah of knitting, aka Yarn Harlot. She went on to note that Melistress’s stalking did not “freak [her] out at all.” She actually thought it was an amusing and effective “shout out.”

Lesson: Stalking, nor openly admitting to stalking, is not always a bad thing. It can be advantageous. The Yarn Harlot and Melistress are now virtual sisters soul mates. Often we never connect to those we idolize and we will never connect to them unless we shout out and be heard.

Kudos to Melistress for shouting and being heard. I lay bets that when they meet in person at this year’s Saskatchewan Stitching Conference in Humboldt, Saskatchewan, the Yarn Harlot will not forget the timid little knitter from Saskatoon who shouted and caught her attention.

By the way, no restraining orders are currently pending.

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